Getting back with my ex

When you hear of relationship breakdown we often think of TV shows like ‘Cops’ where domestic violence is involved or verbal abuse, these over generalised scenarios are not often true. The deteriation of a love relationship can take many different paths, some affairs, over work, loss of interest and lack of community support.

When it comes to relationship breakdown and getting back with my ex it does not have to be doom and gloom! I know that this seems very optimistic... but I will go further than this, it is very near possible that you will enjoy your get back together experience more than the first time you met, sure it won’t be the case for 100% of people as some give on either side has to be cultivated and there are people on this planet who no matter what are down right determined to buck the trend.

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Let’s start with 2 things, optimism and hope, in my last article I pointed to the fact that a relationship reconciliation is a lost cause without a little or a lot of hope, hope will keep us positive, focused and somewhat motivated for the strategic challenge ahead.

Why can getting back with my ex can be so much fun?

We’ll you have to start with the optimism! This is key fuel additive to the love engine, sounds cheesy but very true, gotta keep that motor running.

Falling in love again is incredibly satisfying once achieved. The elements of getting there can be challenging and fun if one chooses them to be. From the open attitude which and hope value you already started having fun. Dating again and placing time emphasis on a weekly dating routine will itself create a fun atmosphere in your home and going out again like you first did.

Some examples of strategy for getting your x back whether you are apart right now or live in the same house but are apart emotionally.

On your weekly dates try and build a positive framework, that’s right if you have negative comments to talk about leave them back where they came from, start the date with a cool clean head, visualize when you first got together and although things are vastly different now you need this to get things back on track for the date ahead.

Let’s be subtle, compliment your date but only once at the begging of the date and keep it subtle, real subtle first date. Ie:’ Thanks for bringing in that box at the back door the other day, just didn’t have time to pick it up, appreciated, thanks’ subtle but affirming the other person. Stronger comments at this stage would be against the objective, this light comment will set the date in the right frame of mind.

If you off to a movie which is a good first choice because you do not want to be a restaurant and have to fill in talk time after such a period, or there may be conflicts which need resolving over a longer period of time, a crash course date would be just that, you want the relationship to reignite and mature more like a fine wine than a raging bull!

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When you arrive at the movie ask your date what mood they are in to suit the movie they may prefer to see and let them be involved in the movie selection, don’t make it too obvious as you want to affirm your respect for the other person, not wave a latern of ‘I havechanged completely overnight’ as in general you may not be a delightful on this date as you usually are and your date may see right through you as a desperate attempt to get things back on line, time is on your side in rebuilding as long as you are willing to give the time and strategic effort to the relationship, prove that it really is important to you and getting back with my ex!